So much can be read from the way people talk. The choice of words is something worth paying attention to. Are they constantly talking about I rather than about We? No need to explain what it means. Although: here context plays a role, too. Are you having a discussion about Strategy and choices? Than the I-sayers might have more focus on their own agenda and personal feelings than on the collective ambition and the team. Are they we-sayers when talking about Execution, Objectives and responsibilities? Make sure people take responsibility for what they promise to accomplish, for the effort they put into it, and for the results.
I have similar experiences with the word „How”. Usually How refers to the process, and as soon as people, for instance in a Management Team, start diverting attention from the content to the process, you can conclude that they either lack the content, and have no opinion about the subject at hand, or they are stalling. Both pose serious problems for decision-making. The question Why a decision should or should not be taken is the crucial one.
When executing, it is the other way around. When someone has taken responsibility for implementing a decision, focus from his Peers or his Manager on How he should do this will most likely not lead to better results, but reduces the responsible person to someone who does not feel trusted with the task.
Not letting your employees figure out how to go about their business is an excellent way to make them stupid. Treat them like kids and you will have a Kindergarten on your hands instead of a company. or an Army – which in some circumstances (like War) has it use too.
Talking about Words, War and Companies: don’t we all love the idea of People, Planet, Profits, as sketched by Peter Frisk? Or for the realists, like Ben Horowitz: People Product Profits? And don’t we usually see the exact opposite? More along the lines of Politics, Paranoia and Pay-for-Preceived-Performance? Now that is something we want to do something about. An excellent Why (we want to do it differently).
And what about “How”? Does it have any use? Sure it does. In: „How can I help?”